I tried to save time by making this entry a VIDEO blog today - but something screwy happened with my microphone and all you can see is me in my robe talking away and you can't hear anything more than a word or two. *SIGH* I did it like that to save time. Yeah, let's see - it took an HOUR to figure out what the heck I was doing wrong. I think I might have figured out a solution - but that was at 8:20 am and my butt needed to be out the door at 8:30 am - so, it was NOT much of a time-saver. Especially since now I have nothing for the blog! LOL.
People who know me really well know that I am a big fan of Khalil Gibran. He wrote the book "The Prophet" which happens to be one of my most treasured possessions. Not only because of what it contains (the writings are so touching and so meaningful) but because it used to belong to my grandmother, Louise Kalwat Hyde. She was an incredible influence on my life. I have kept The Prophet close to me for years - and some of my recent emails with friends got me to thinking about one of the entries in The Prophet that talks about Joy and Sorrow.
Joy and Sorrow
Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
I hope you all find this as comforting as I do. The deeper the sorrow, the more space that JOY has to fill up when it comes back to you. Gosh, that's such a hopeful thought, isn't it?
Today, I think I will focus on having the grace to remember that even when the sorrow is there, the joy is waiting right behind to come back and fill the void that sorrow creates.
Besides, sorrow can be a great opportunity to learn how to be a stronger, more capable person.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Grace in the face of hurt
When someone hurts me, I go through so many emotions. Why? What was their reason for hurting me? Did I hurt them first? Did I do something do deserve it? Did I forget something important? Ignore a need? Did I somehow humiliate or frustrate them until they felt they had no recourse but to lash out and retaliate in the form of hurt?
I guess you just have to know me to know how much I thoroughly despise hurting people. I go to great extents to avoid hurting anyone in the first place. When I find out I have hurt someone, I have a very hard time living with myself. I feel very guilty and extremely sad. I mean, I am usually the one working overtime trying to make every day a great experience for everyone in my life. Really.
So why do other people feel that they have the right to hurt me? And how can I react to it in a graceful way?
I know how to react in a graceful way when it's my fault. I apologize first. I tell someone how sorry I am for hurting them and I give specifics. I look them in the eyes and I try and put myself in their shoes - detailing how I hurt them. For example: "I am so sorry that I cast aside your needs for my own and left you hurting and wishing someone would pay attention to you." I feel like by doing that, I am gracefully and tenderly apologizing for my wrongdoing, the hurt I caused (inadvertently or on purpose) and letting them give additional input about their hurt - maybe something I didn't know. Then I follow it up with a "I hope you will forgive me...I will try hard not to let it happen again." I can't think of a more graceful way to apologize than a genuine apology. I always mean it when I apologize.
But it's that actions of those people who feel as though they have to hurt others to feel better about themselves that I have a hard time wrapping my brain around. I can't understand their logic. I always feel BETTER when I make someone feel good about themselves. I always feel like the world is brighter and happier and my heart soars when I know I have made someones day. I can't understand the logic behind people who hurt others intentionally and then walk away. Does that make me strange? Does that make me odd? Does that make me completely naive? Maybe. But you know, I would rather be naive and be the one handling a hurt the right way than someone who is so dead inside that they can't find it within themselves to apologize to others for their behavior. What kind of person feels better when they make someone else hurt?
I think the best way to handle hurt with grace would be forgiveness. Finding it inside yourself to accept that the reasons that they may have had for their behavior may never be anything you understand fully. Finding a place inside yourself to reconcile someone else's harmful behavior and turn it into a lesson in understanding and forgiveness. You can find comfort in the fact that you will never be "that person". You can even say to yourself "I'll see you when you get there" - when the person who hurts you reaches the level you are living on, you can meet them again but on equal terms. Until then, the only thing you can do is wait for them to get there and be satisfied in knowing that you are better for not stooping to their level.
This song has been one of my favorites for a long time...I hope you find it to bless you as much as it has blessed me. One of my favorite quotes from the song is:
"so gather up your pity and turn it to ambition and put your vehicle in drive and stop by my side"
Wishing everyone a day filled with grace...
I guess you just have to know me to know how much I thoroughly despise hurting people. I go to great extents to avoid hurting anyone in the first place. When I find out I have hurt someone, I have a very hard time living with myself. I feel very guilty and extremely sad. I mean, I am usually the one working overtime trying to make every day a great experience for everyone in my life. Really.
So why do other people feel that they have the right to hurt me? And how can I react to it in a graceful way?
I know how to react in a graceful way when it's my fault. I apologize first. I tell someone how sorry I am for hurting them and I give specifics. I look them in the eyes and I try and put myself in their shoes - detailing how I hurt them. For example: "I am so sorry that I cast aside your needs for my own and left you hurting and wishing someone would pay attention to you." I feel like by doing that, I am gracefully and tenderly apologizing for my wrongdoing, the hurt I caused (inadvertently or on purpose) and letting them give additional input about their hurt - maybe something I didn't know. Then I follow it up with a "I hope you will forgive me...I will try hard not to let it happen again." I can't think of a more graceful way to apologize than a genuine apology. I always mean it when I apologize.
But it's that actions of those people who feel as though they have to hurt others to feel better about themselves that I have a hard time wrapping my brain around. I can't understand their logic. I always feel BETTER when I make someone feel good about themselves. I always feel like the world is brighter and happier and my heart soars when I know I have made someones day. I can't understand the logic behind people who hurt others intentionally and then walk away. Does that make me strange? Does that make me odd? Does that make me completely naive? Maybe. But you know, I would rather be naive and be the one handling a hurt the right way than someone who is so dead inside that they can't find it within themselves to apologize to others for their behavior. What kind of person feels better when they make someone else hurt?
I think the best way to handle hurt with grace would be forgiveness. Finding it inside yourself to accept that the reasons that they may have had for their behavior may never be anything you understand fully. Finding a place inside yourself to reconcile someone else's harmful behavior and turn it into a lesson in understanding and forgiveness. You can find comfort in the fact that you will never be "that person". You can even say to yourself "I'll see you when you get there" - when the person who hurts you reaches the level you are living on, you can meet them again but on equal terms. Until then, the only thing you can do is wait for them to get there and be satisfied in knowing that you are better for not stooping to their level.
This song has been one of my favorites for a long time...I hope you find it to bless you as much as it has blessed me. One of my favorite quotes from the song is:
"so gather up your pity and turn it to ambition and put your vehicle in drive and stop by my side"
Wishing everyone a day filled with grace...
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I seem to find GRACE in the smallest things...
This morning I was glancing at my small little pyrex bowl of honey-nut cheerios with sliced fresh strawberries and I thought "even my cereal looks graceful today" - and it's a good thing too! Some days I feel like a drunk hippopotamus! Today would be one of those days - so if my cereal is more graceful than I am, I am seriously considering sending IT to work in dressy clothing and allowing IT to work 9 hours for me (I have been working through lunch a few times a week studying for my insurance license) and let IT listen to people complaining about their insurance rates increasing and me working for hours on solutions to save them money ONLY to have them decide to go with another insurance company OR tell me that the don't like the new coverages and could they PLEEEEASE just go back to the other coverages and not pay more.
Today I would like to share a couple of pillows that I find EXTREMELY graceful. :)
I am a big fan of Pottery Barn furniture and I don't own anything from their because they are kind of out of my price range. Although, I am not sure that's completely a true statement because I remember when Emmy (my daughter) and I went into a Pottery Barn Kids store when she was about 6 months old and I showed her a little stuffed duckie in there that rattled and her little tiny fists reached for it and she snatched it from my hands and prompty stuffed it into her mouth. Of course I had to PAY for it. So I do INDEED own ONE thing from Pottery Barn. A $12 stuffed drooly duckie. But not having enough money to buy myself something there doesn't stop me from drooling over their catalogs - hmmm, I am beginning to see a drooling trend. Like mother like daughter, I guess!
These are my latest graceful fascination:
AAaaaahhhh, I think I will sign off with these images last in my mind today. Maybe they will help me smile wider, work harder and look forward to this evening when I can relax and (hopefully) find time to write a little more. :)
Today I would like to share a couple of pillows that I find EXTREMELY graceful. :)
I am a big fan of Pottery Barn furniture and I don't own anything from their because they are kind of out of my price range. Although, I am not sure that's completely a true statement because I remember when Emmy (my daughter) and I went into a Pottery Barn Kids store when she was about 6 months old and I showed her a little stuffed duckie in there that rattled and her little tiny fists reached for it and she snatched it from my hands and prompty stuffed it into her mouth. Of course I had to PAY for it. So I do INDEED own ONE thing from Pottery Barn. A $12 stuffed drooly duckie. But not having enough money to buy myself something there doesn't stop me from drooling over their catalogs - hmmm, I am beginning to see a drooling trend. Like mother like daughter, I guess!
These are my latest graceful fascination:
AAaaaahhhh, I think I will sign off with these images last in my mind today. Maybe they will help me smile wider, work harder and look forward to this evening when I can relax and (hopefully) find time to write a little more. :)
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Graceful new beginnings
Today is the perfect day for new beginnings. Thank you for joining me in the continuing saga of my life. :)
I decided to name the blog "Grace Matters Most" because I think no matter how you look at it, it's hard to argue against that point. Whether you're talking about the Grace of God or the elegant grace that a person uses when they carry themselves in any situation - grace matters most.
Sometimes I wish I lived life with just a LITTLE more grace. There are plenty of times I have wished I could go back and rewind something I have done that was pretty lame or something that I should have handled completely differently. I have had a lot of those moments in my life - and I intend to share them as they happen going forward! So, the subject of this blog IS grace - and the pursuit of grace. Grace in my definition of the word could be as varied as some sort of spiffy new Martha Stewartish decorating ideas to better ways of handling certain people/personalities in life to how to react to someone being too pushy or even how to be grateful and graceful in daily life occurrences. So a smattering of different graceful things will be discussed and examined in this blog. :)
Grace is underrated. You don't have to talk like a princess to have grace. You don't have to be a size two to be graceful. You don't have to have dainty little hands and not a hair out of place to be graceful. All you need is a desire to emit grace from the inside out. To be the personification of "elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action." Handling myself with grace is the biggest goal I have right now in my life. A few weeks ago I was walking through a cemetery when I came across this memorial. It was so moving and JUST what I needed to see.
This is a definition of grace. Admitting that you are not perfect - that you will make mistakes but that you also have the willingness to learn from every mistake you make. And sometimes grace is no more than just knowing when to act like a fool and when to rise above the people in your life that can bring you down.
I decided to name the blog "Grace Matters Most" because I think no matter how you look at it, it's hard to argue against that point. Whether you're talking about the Grace of God or the elegant grace that a person uses when they carry themselves in any situation - grace matters most.
Sometimes I wish I lived life with just a LITTLE more grace. There are plenty of times I have wished I could go back and rewind something I have done that was pretty lame or something that I should have handled completely differently. I have had a lot of those moments in my life - and I intend to share them as they happen going forward! So, the subject of this blog IS grace - and the pursuit of grace. Grace in my definition of the word could be as varied as some sort of spiffy new Martha Stewartish decorating ideas to better ways of handling certain people/personalities in life to how to react to someone being too pushy or even how to be grateful and graceful in daily life occurrences. So a smattering of different graceful things will be discussed and examined in this blog. :)
Grace is underrated. You don't have to talk like a princess to have grace. You don't have to be a size two to be graceful. You don't have to have dainty little hands and not a hair out of place to be graceful. All you need is a desire to emit grace from the inside out. To be the personification of "elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action." Handling myself with grace is the biggest goal I have right now in my life. A few weeks ago I was walking through a cemetery when I came across this memorial. It was so moving and JUST what I needed to see.
This is a definition of grace. Admitting that you are not perfect - that you will make mistakes but that you also have the willingness to learn from every mistake you make. And sometimes grace is no more than just knowing when to act like a fool and when to rise above the people in your life that can bring you down.
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